Oh Joy! After years of mild uncertainty, I can now drink my diet sodies in peace. The EU’s food safety authority just released a report on Friday saying that aspartame does not, in fact, raise the risk of cancer. Taxologist Iona Pratt said “There is no reason…to undertake any further extensive review of asparatame.” The current suggested safe daily intake of the substitute is 40 milligrams; on the issue Pratt went on to say, “if you pick up little packets of it, you would have to take 80 of those packets into yer coffee in one day in order to exceed this level.”
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to sprawl out on the bathroom floor and start (finally) mainlining Diet Dr. Pepper.