I talked to my dad for the first time in like three weeks tonight. I've been sort of purposely avoiding his calls since he pulled some shady shit on me a couple weeks ago and I am still feeling sort of betrayed. He and Kathy signed their separation papers this weekend and he's moved to Raleigh(like two hours from my hometown). I'm a little upset because he seems to think its okay to ask me not to have a relationship with someone he asked me to accept as my family. Meanwhile, he is serious emotionally unstable and whenever I talk to him he talks serious shit about my mom and sister Lauren and when I talk to Mom she talks shit about him and Lauren--I really feel like whatever semblance of a primary family I imagined having doesn't and won't exist anymore. I feel really sad about my dad living all by himself in Raleigh and also about not knowing about what there is to go home to anymore. I don't mean to be sound melodramatic---I'm just sad is all.
I did talk to Louisa this morning; I really miss my baby. I'm trying to convince my mom to send her up here for a weekend for "Camp Tachoo" (she called me Tachoo before she could say Taylor)--She seems reluctant but I am going to keep on her. I don't think New York would be the same after Louisa and I took it on together.
I have fucking ulcers in my stomach.